Tell me a story, or Go Away!

Bedtime stories I told my Daughter.

By Elizabeth Massaro

The Three Puppies.

as told to Emily, one evening Circa 1996 or before.

There were several of these, too many to remember.  Emily loved the three puppies as a small child and I had them doing all kinds of things.  At one point, I think they even visited outer space.  They were abducted by aliens, but the aliens found them too difficult to control, and so returned them to their yard.    Here then is one of these stories.

Once upon a time there were three beagle puppies who lived in a house with their mother, their owner and another dog named Henrietta who we hardly ever talk about.  The puppies names were Dinky, Daisy and Dandelion.  They loved to get into all sorts of trouble.  After breakfast, their mother would lead them out into the yard for their morning walks. 

Why can’t we just go in the house, asked the smallest puppy, Daisy.

The humans don’t like it when we go in there.  They want us to go on the grass. Said their mother.

Why do we have to listen to the humans, one of the puppies wanted to know.

Because they feed us and give us a warm dry place to sleep. Said their mother.  All we have to do is learn to go on the grass. 

If there’s grass in the house can we go inside then?  Asked a puppy. 

I’m not sure.  There’s never been grass in the house.
Said their mother.

I don’t have to go right now, said Dinky.

Neither do I said the other two. 

You can’t come back inside until you go, said their mother.  With that, she went back through the doggy door and left them in the yard alone.

            The three puppies were more interested in smelling smells and sniffing each other’s butts than they were in doing what their mother told them to do.  Before long one of them found a loose board in the fence and all three of them were out of the yard and in the street.  Since none of them had any clue how to get back into the yard, they just began wandering down the street. 

            It wasn’t long before they met a big stray.

“I’m Big Red,” said Big Red.  This is my street.

You three puppies don’t belong to me.  And he growled his most ferocious growl at them.

The puppies started to whine.  We’re lost.  We want our mommy.  All the commotion made humans come out of their homes. 

            One old lady with a big stick came out and started to shew away Big Red.  The problem was that the puppies saw the big stick and they were afraid of it too.  Just then the three puppies were scooped up by big hands. 

It’s a human. Said Dinky. 

Let’s bark at him, said Dandy.

Let’s lick his face, said Daisy.  And they did.

The man wore a uniform.  He had a shiny metal badge and a funny hat with a rim in the front.  His name tag red Officer Rodgers.  Officer Rodgers knew that the three puppies were lost.  He began to take them to his patrol car when all of a sudden he heard a little girl crying out for the three puppies.  She called them each by name.  Dinky, Daisy, Dandy, where are you.  Officer Rodgers knew just what to do.  Here they are.  He called.  And he walked the three puppies back to their owner. Their mother was on a leash next to the girl and Henrietta, the dog whose rarely mentioned was there too. 

Are these your dogs,  Officer Rodgers said to the little girl. 

Yes sir.  They must have escaped the yard.

Well, you better keep a closer eye on them from now on.  They almost got a trip to the pound.

When Henrietta and their mother heard the word pound, their eyes got wide and they began to bark nervously.  Once they were all safely back in the yard, their mother scolded them.

You are bad little dogs.  She said.  You could have been taken to the pound. 

What’s the pound mommy said Daisy.

The pound is doggy prison.  Said her mother.  They put you in a cage and never let you out.  All they feed you is dry dog food and water.  And there are no little girls to play with.

How awful said Dandy.  I hope I’m never sent to the pound.

If you learn to use the grass and don’t leave the yard.  You’ll never have any problem said their mother.  And with that they all used the grass that very day.  Then they all went through the doggy door and into the kitchen where their nice warm chicken liver dinner was waiting for them. 

The End.

Moral: Always use the grass.  And don’t venture into uncharted territory without a guide.

Ironically, Dandylion was sent to the pound years later because she did have a problem using the grass.  She went in the house just once too often and then she went for a ride (to animal welfare, where now I'm sure she's peeing on someone else's couch.  Poor Daisy died, and Dinky never recovered. Henrietta never existed.

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